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Trust Me.

Did you know there are currently 10 elephants enrolled in painting schools in Thailand, and among the trunks toting paint brushes, the overwhelmingly preferred color is purple?

Did you know there are currently 10 elephants enrolled in painting schools in Thailand, and among the trunks toting paint brushes, the overwhelmingly preferred color is purple?


Having trouble sorting fact from fiction? You’re not alone.

According to the 2010 USC Annenberg Digital Future Study released earlier this week, nearly 80 percent of Web users rely on the Internet as a rolodex for informed reading, but a significantly smaller segment believes the spouted stats are sincere – and those digits are dropping annually. Ten years ago, 55 percent considered the majority of material concrete; in today’s edition that number dropped to 39 percent, a new low for the Digital Future Project.

Even search engines such as Google and Yahoo – traditional stalwarts of online sincerity – have lost some of their luster, dropping 11 percent on the reliability register. But what’s most stimulating (or simply scary) is the significant slide in trust even among websites we choose to visit regularly, a stat which trickled down for the third time in as many years.

If consumer confidence in online information continues to erode, how long do companies have before the lack of faith moves beyond the one medium and infects a brand’s overall believability? This raises the real question of how to win that confidence back and attain the vaunted status of ‘old faithful’.

Solid relationships require true trust – an attribute earned, not owed. The one direction offered by websites, purely pushing information out, isn’t engaging enough to build the requisite rapport needed to create certitude – that requires a two-way dialogue. Dynamic conversations allow consumers to think, test and ultimately interact with a concept; the ability to challenge inspires confidence.

Providing a platform for pondering back and forth is a means for entertaining the elephant in the room, that way we can sort fact from purple propaganda.

– 

Here’s to wishing readers from sea to shining sea a whale of a weekend as we jump out of July and attack August!

One Response to “Trust Me.”

  1. Janet Bednarz says:

    Well, I don’t care what other people say – I think Mr. One Eye is real.

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Please Mr. Postman

Communispace is a company fundamentally founded on listening, and if I’ve heard it right, active listening requires reacting to what’s been said. So this week the bullhorn is being put down in favor of recapping a few of the righteous reads friends of Verbatim have been kind enough to kick over to me. Allow me if you will, to mail in this week’s post.

Communispace is a company fundamentally founded on listening, and if I’ve heard it right, active listening requires reacting to what’s been said. So this week the bullhorn is being put down in favor of recapping a few of the righteous reads friends of Verbatim have been kind enough to kick over to me. Allow me if you will, to mail in this week’s post. 

  • Think you’re familiar with the phrase: ‘if you think that,  you’ve got another thing coming’? Think again. It turns out ‘thing’ is actually ‘think’, as in you’ll have to re-think your original thought. This pondering was provided by Grady Ruster’s Dad – thanks for giving us something to think about.  
  • Vuvuzela’s stormed South Africa, but that was just the beginning of the buzz. The Florida Marlins tried a marketing gimmick in bringing them to baseball, and BP is about to be blasted by a picketing posse, but the most bizarre (and arguably best) use of the mighty musical instrument goes to YouTube for their introduction of the Vuvuzela button, a fancy functionality allowing viewers to add the call of the crowd to any clip. Cheers to Peter Chapin for providing the sound idea.
  • Why should Pampers consider promoting themselves roughly nine months after the World Cup? According to a little fertility factiva, Germany’s success in the 2006 World Cup led to a lot of scoring … and a baby boom. Thanks to D-Rom for delivering that little ditty. 

The fun exists beyond a few facts –  an encyclopedia is loaded with little bits, but it’s not necessarily entertainment – rather the real story is the sharing. People prompt conversation by piping info that inspires interaction. The ‘what’ is rarely as revealing as the ‘who.’ Learn to listen and you may just understand why.

The spirit of sharing continues in the form of this week’s fireworks designated by dame Fitz-Gerald; enjoy the fourth (and fifth) everyone.

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Can You See the Lite?

Friday features the most welcomed of workweek traditions, Happy Hour; a simple sip of suds revs up the relaxation regime as we brew a better vibe. So which beer-top will you pop?

Out with a new campaign, Miller Lite is making a bid for you to buy their brew. Their advertising recipe offers a bit of beer-battering, with a series of spots featuring a frisky bartender belittling men as boys for their willingness to accept any light beer — pulling punches with overplayed ‘computer bag/carryall-as-purse’ lines, ‘lose-the-skirt’ statements and the like. The givers of ‘Great Taste, Less Filling’ have gone aggressive, challenging would-be chuggers to ‘man-up’ and have a Miller Lite.

Friday features the most welcomed of workweek traditions, Happy Hour; a simple sip of suds revs up the relaxation regime as we brew a better vibe. So which beer-top will you pop?

Out with a new campaign, Miller Lite is making a bid for you to buy their brew. Their advertising recipe offers a bit of beer-battering, with a series of spots featuring a frisky bartender belittling men as boys for their willingness to accept any light beer — pulling punches with overplayed ‘computer bag/carryall-as-purse’ lines, ‘lose-the-skirt’ statements and the like. The givers of ‘Great Taste, Less Filling’ have gone aggressive, challenging would-be chuggers to ‘man-up’ and have a Miller Lite.

At the other end of the cooler, Heineken Light is looking for the same segment of sip seekers, but with a dramatically different design. Their commercials cover a pair of 30-something pals at a Florida retirement community, raking in lessons on life from their elders. An education earned through experience is shared in a series of chat sessions, serving up a glass of appreciation for the classically cool; those handing down the hops help inspire future brewmasters to ‘See The Light.’ Heineken Light is never mentioned outright, just coyly covered by a couple of clips of camera work.

The difference is degradation versus aspiration. Light (and/or Lite) beers serve their purpose, simpler on the stomach and efficient space savers; but few beer buyers (particularly the guys both brewers are going after) define themselves, or more to the point, their manhood, by way of light beer. The context Miller Lite has created, testing testosterone levels by goading guys, falls flat; while Heineken helps itself by giving men the means to elevate their game — the difference is focusing on what we hope to be, rather than what we are not. It’s bottoms up. 

As always, a beat to help you break for the weekend in search of your own brouhaha; be sure to raise a mug in honor of the men you define as Dad!

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En Route(r) To Insight

My wireless router got routed this week prompting me to read through reams of replacement options online, a search which began at Best Buy with its 76 selections and turned to Amazon, adding another 1,895 alternatives. Each of the various versions sport a suffix of letters, numbers, and a sprinkling of specialty benefits; combined they create a cornucopia of confusion with titles like: Wireless-N 150 Router with 4-Port Ethernet Switch.

My wireless router got routed this week prompting me to read through reams of replacement options online, a search which began at Best Buy with its 76 selections and turned to Amazon, adding another 1,895 alternatives. Each of the various versions sport a suffix of letters, numbers, and a sprinkling of specialty benefits; combined they create a cornucopia of confusion with titles like: Wireless-N 150 Router with 4-Port Ethernet Switch.  

In danger of a mental hard drive meltdown, I sought safety in a standard novice solution – research by way of user reviews. Some extolled the ease of installation while others incited indignation over how insanely difficult it was to get the same wireless unit working; there were reports of ridiculous ranges, both long and short, righteous and ragged reliability. Feedback fanned the full spectrum for every device, but sans consensus it was impossible to sense which suggestions were sound.

What could (or should) have served as the ultimate IT Help Desk, turned out to be as useful as a floppy-disk. Was it a system or user error? 

My community of commentators was well-intentioned, but navigating the notes, positive and negative alike, revealed a reason to place the remarks in context of the critic. From a lack of know-how, to the modems and Internet providers pushing the signal through, there are too many factors to fashion a real review of one piece of the larger technology puzzle.

An online community can provide powerful pointers to brands and individuals alike, but it takes intimacy to truly understand who you’re interacting with. The familiarity formed once trust is earned allows an added level of learning; a participant’s comfort opens the opportunity for them to confide the circumstance behind their answer. Without the added context, the “insight” is as useful as a ruined router.

As you get ready to boot-up your weekend, make sure to power-down any lingering effects from the five days of work.

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Awesome.

Think Chocolate is better than Sunlight or Ninjas? You better vote, because it’s well behind in the rankings on The Most Awesomest Thing Ever, a website which pits unrelated objects, celebrities and activities against each other and then ranks them based on how many people think they are awesome.

Think Chocolate is better than Sunlight or Ninjas? You better vote, because it’s well behind in the rankings on The Most Awesomest Thing Ever, a website which pits unrelated objects, celebrities and activities against each other and then ranks them based on how many people think they are awesome.

“We had no idea it would take off like this,” says Michael Lebowitz, founder and CEO of Big Spaceship, the digital creative agency behind the website which launched April 15. “People spend hours on it. Someone on Twitter even likened it to ‘heroin-dusted Oreos,’ it’s just that addicting.” After just five days, the site stole a collective 18,000 hours from visitors debating between Nachos and Jazz Hands. 

There’s something uniquely awesome about the site, beyond pitting cheeseburgers against cleavage. Rather than limiting would-be reviewers to a predetermined list, The Most Awesomest Thing Ever allows anyone a chance to add their own awesome ideas to the ever-building bank of battling items. 

As market researchers we often set the context in which consumers can view a given product or brand by forcing our consideration set – what we see as the obvious or correct choices – into the equation, but that leaves little room for the answers we didn’t anticipate. It’s a confined conversation, which makes it more command than collaboration.  

Having the courage to place control in the palms of the people pondering your problem opens up the opportunity to see what consumers actually see – not what we want them to. Do so, and you may just discover something unexpected. Now that would be awesome.  

A special shout out to the person I find most awesome, my mom; happy Mother’s Day to my only guaranteed reader and the rest of the moms out there!

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Use Only As Directed

Mr. Rogers rarely ran right into the Land Of Make-Believe – the man had a method for preparing for play post-work. The strategy started with singing during a sweater-for-coat exchange and shunning shoes for sneakers, ultimately culminating in calm. It wasn’t magic; his ‘routine of relaxation’ was powered by simple, everyday items.

Moving beyond the Land Of Make Believe, in the realm of reality lives my neighbor, Laura D; like the aforementioned master of puppets, she switches gears as soon as she walks through the door. “The House Sweater” is hefted off a hanger as part of a methodical, meditative moment; cotton provides the call to let go of the day.

Mr. Rogers rarely ran right into the Land Of Make-Believe – the man had a method for preparing for play post-work. The strategy started with singing during a sweater-for-coat exchange and shunning shoes for sneakers, ultimately culminating in calm. It wasn’t magic; his ‘routine of relaxation’ was powered by simple, everyday items.

Moving beyond the Land Of Make-Believe, in the realm of reality lives my neighbor, Laura D; like the aforementioned master of puppets, she switches gears as soon as she walks through the door. “The House Sweater” is hefted off a hanger as part of a methodical, meditative moment; cotton provides the call to let go of the day.

Does the sweater’s service as a cathartic catalyst stand out on the tag? Naturally, no. Laura D’s fuzzy friend was never advertised by Anthropologie as a ‘House Sweater’ but a simple sweater can mean something more when steeped in personal value.

People are a peculiar sort, each with his or her own style. Take for example Laura D’s husband’s version of the ‘put your feet up’ principle, which involves a bear-skin rug and a bare bum. Despite the different direction, duds off rather than on, his striptease still stands for something – and the rug is part of his repose.

My ‘melting moment’ involves a delivery of an indestructible chew toy, compliments of my canine, Izzy. Creators of the ‘Blue Cow’ could never have known a stuffed animal would attain such a vaunted value – and that’s for me, not my dog. 

 A ‘one-size-fits-all’ approach to market research among the masses may miss the intricacies of intent and actual use. From sweaters that stop the day to the socks that served as Mr. Rogers’ puppets, stuff is always best when used as undirected. 

For those of you new to our Friday fun, we have a tradition of turning a track up to help your week wind down – enjoy!

3 Responses to “Use Only As Directed”

  1. Matt D. says:

    “Stuff is always best when used as undirected.”

    I agree sir!
    I spit out my Listerine and then gargle. I put metal in the microwave.
    I use Selson Blue for Jif, and Jif for Pledge.
    Forget the recommended servings sizes and suggested dosages.
    I shall be one size that does not fit all.

    Consumers should consume as they see fit, even if we all don’t share the opinion that bras make great earmuffs. I commend companies and their hired ad agencies that forego the “this is perfect for eveyone” approach with their products. I’m NOT talking to you Dockers!
    Every man does not love your khakis. I’m a man and I do not want to wear your pants. In fact, I’m not going to wear anybody’s pants.

    I’m just going to sit here on my bear-skin rug.

  2. Laura D. says:

    This presents quite a challenge for market researchers – is it possible to gain enough insight from consumers such that a product can be advertised to the ‘specific intents’ and ‘actual uses’ for said product (for which there could be a variety)? If Anthropologie had advertised the house sweater as such, I would have bought three. In fact, if everyone started selling ‘house sweaters’, I would probably be broke with closets full of ‘house sweaters’. But perhaps, the other ten people that bought that sweater would have left it on the rack thinking, what is a house sweater anyway?

  3. AHR says:

    I’ll say that’s a challenge… it’s like they have to be mind readers! The vision that keeps popping into my head is of 2 kids laying in the grass looking up at the summer sky… at a cloud in particular… one sees a rabbit and the other sees a firetruck. I guess that’s where talking to your customers comes in… if you see a trend in usage, you can start to advertise as such.

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My Bags and Me

Ladies and gentlemen, the Captain has turned on the Fasten Seat Belt Sign; please make sure your pocket books are in their upright and open positions.

Earlier this week Spirit Airlines put a price on placing bags in overhead bins; now, depending on whether travelers ‘pre-reserve’ their place in advance or enroll in the ‘Ultra-Low Fare Club,’ their ticket prices fly an extra $20 to $45 – not exactly peanuts.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Captain has turned on the Fasten Seat Belt Sign; please make sure your pocket books are in their upright and open positions.

Earlier this week Spirit Airlines put a price on placing bags in overhead bins; now, depending on whether travelers ‘pre-reserve’ their place in advance or enroll in the ‘Ultra-Low Fare Club,’ their ticket prices fly an extra $20 to $45 – not exactly peanuts. 

Each passenger can still store one personal item under a seat for free, such as a purse, briefcase, backpack or laptop computer. Airline officials suggest their overhead storage solution provides a “bring less; pay less” policy which ultimately benefits customers. Is it Hindenburg hot-air or a grounded rationale?

The procedure for boarding creates a carry-on craze every flight. Starting with the nerve-racking race to be first on the plane to place your luggage, right through takeoff as the last man standing plays a game of hide-and-seek, desperately searching for any space to stash their stuff. Post-plane landing, patrons are then treated to an extra five minutes as the wild goose chase to bring a bag back down, stalls the stampede off the plane.

Hypothetically, fewer bags on the plane put people on the ground faster; that is, if baggage handlers do their part. More importantly, if Spirit’s newfound spare change nets the average flyer a cheaper choice in flight, its sales might actually soar.

Rash reactions will run their course as an already injured industry and airline takes on additional turbulence, but once the program passes through its takeoff jitters, Spirit Airlines will be wise to check with the consumer control tower to see if they’re clear to continue their current flight path or require a reroute to a new destination.

We request that all electronic devices be turned off until we fly through till Monday. We will notify you when it is safe to use such devices.

4 Responses to “My Bags and Me”

  1. Brad Mampe says:

    I’d be more inclined to believe you if Spirit Airlines hadn’t flat-out ignored their customers in the past:

    http://current.newsweek.com/budgettravel/2007/08/should_spirit_airlines_apologi.html

    Spin it how you want, but a very, very bad apple is about to set a horrible precedent for the rest of the industry.

  2. Matt D. says:

    With all these new fees for storing luggage, nudist colonies must be psyched! They are on the threshold of being the vacation hot-spots of the future. Picture it…747’s full of naked travelers, soaring off to the only places where they can exist without essentials like clothing & toiletries. People can barely afford to fly as it is, and now they have to start deciding if packing anything at all is worth the extra dough?
    Screw the airlines and their spin on how it will save time or gas, or whatever. They need to realize that people who travel need to bring bags along. Now I agree with a charge for numerous bags that are stowed beneath the plane, and the one carry-on limit seems reasonable since over-head cabin room is a precious commodity. But to charge for putting your carry-on above your already expensive seat? Next, they will be charging us for pressurizing the cabin. Pay your $25 or you will pass out at 25,000 ft! This is truly as ridiculous as if Health Clubs started charging people who wear sneakers, or bars who charge extra to put your delicious dirty martini in a glass.

    PS: You go, Southwest! At least you still understand that, no matter how nice a gentle breeze across my bare bottom may feel, I still need to bring some clothes with me while traveling.

  3. Lil Pro says:

    In my humble opinion, the craziness to get on the flight and secure overhead space derives from flyers not wanting to check their baggage. In my frequent travels, I have seen people’s carry-ons getting increasingly bigger. People do not want to check for two reasons, 1. it adds significant time to checking in and getting out of the airport. 2. for MOST airlines, it costs more. If airlines would put their energy into making this process more efficient and less time consuming, maybe fewer passengers would bring carry-ons and this would not be an issue.

  4. Jani Fraga says:

    After the charges for checked baggage became to be more common, of course it was natural for most travelers to bring the biggest carry-on bag they could shove into that little display next to the ticket counter. So, if checked bags are being charged, where do all the clothes go? I can see it now: everyone on the plane carrying their laptop, briefcase, or purse, and wearing every piece of clothing they intend on bringing with them.

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The Sweet Slip

Regardless of your registration status, revelers on the ‘Right’ and lovers of the ‘Left’ alike, whether you thought it was the medicine we need or cause enough to make you sick, we can all agree, Healthcare Reform is a big f–king deal.

In his Tuesday preamble presenting the President for a symbolic signing before a group of supporters and media moguls, Vice President Joe Biden praised Obama’s “perseverance” and “clarity of purpose” then saluted the would-be-signer with a smile, and as an aside added, “This is a big f–king deal!”

Regardless of your registration status, revelers on the ‘Right’ and lovers of the ‘Left’ alike, whether you thought it was the medicine we need or cause enough to make you sick, we can all agree, Healthcare Reform is a big f–king deal.

In his Tuesday preamble presenting the President for a symbolic signing before a group of supporters and media moguls, Vice President Joe Biden praised Obama’s “perseverance” and “clarity of purpose” then saluted the would-be-signer with a smile, and as an aside added, “This is a big f–king deal!”

It’s hard to disagree with the declaration, after all, it’s not a little f–king deal; but should Biden be busted for malpractice?

True, the cuss, caught with an open-microphone, was spouted in the historic East Room of the White House in front of an audience sporting formal wear, which is nothing to sneeze at, but isn’t it just another in a growing line of Biden-isms? The White House wasn’t too worried; shortly after the ceremony, White House Press Secretary used his Twitter feed to leverage levity: “And yes Mr. Vice President, you’re right.”

The unexpected eavesdropping revealed the real Biden, in that instant of intimate repartee we were treated to an x-ray which went beyond the polished pseudo-version the White House staff has created in their PR labs. It was genuine; it was Biden.

The brief banter features a fine lesson: the best stuff comes from listening in on exclusive exchanges, allowing you to catch the moments you least expect. As children we’re taught not to snoop, but as marketers, placing a proverbial stethoscope on your customers can be as revealing as a hospital gown.

Looking for your own dose of good medicine? Here’s a shot from Dr. Feelgood sure to get your weekend off on the right start…

One Response to “The Sweet Slip”

  1. Diane Hessan says:

    Hey Rocky — I agree with you about those quiet exchanges. Last night, Jay Leno described Biden as “the man who put the ‘vice’ in Vice President.” :)

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Lawyers, Guns, and Coffee

Does Yosemite Sam enjoy the occasional shot of espresso? Perhaps, but as Starbucks recently learned fans of the Second Amendment sure do. The brewer of brown beverages found itself in the throes of a nationwide debate centered not on caffeine, but gun rights.

Does Yosemite Sam enjoy the occasional shot of espresso? Perhaps, but as Starbucks recently learned fans of the Second Amendment sure do. The brewer of brown beverages found itself in the throes of a nationwide debate centered not on caffeine, but gun rights.

After California Pizza Kitchen and Peet’s Coffee & Tea put a policy in place preventing people from packing heat on their hip when in stores, a gathering of gun-toting citizens were forced to find a new place to frequent—so they sauntered to Starbucks.

Legally, they’re allowed to lug their heavy metal in any of the 43 states which protect the principle; of course businesses bear the right to prohibit people from entering their establishment when wearing weapons—which represents the firepower behind the fracas.

Starbucks is staying centered, ignoring both the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence’s pleas to ban artillery at the bistro and OpenCarry.org’s overture calling for its 28,000 members to caffeinate there in a show of support.

Standing behind a belief that gun-control debate belongs in the legislatures and courts, Starbucks suggests adopting a policy of prohibition in states where it’s legal to roam with a revolver would place its employees in the untenable position of pushing law abiding customers out of stores—an unfair and potentially unsafe position.   

As we stand atop our virtual soapbox during these blog sessions, our solution usually starts with a simple adage: ask your customer. But is that a decaffeinated cup of caution in this case? Both sides sport ammunition in the form of numbers, so who does Starbucks select as a sounding board?

Ordering an opinion from Regular Joe is still justified. It’s the average customer (the many, many more who mind the middle of the argument) who matter most; uncovering their passion, or perhaps utter lack thereof, may provide a made-to-order PR solution. After all, finding an answer doesn’t have to be as difficult as dictating an order for a half double decaffeinated half-caf, with a shot of caramel. 

As you pull the trigger on the weekend make sure to get your fill of fun, but don’t forget to set those clocks accordingly on Sunday!

2 Responses to “Lawyers, Guns, and Coffee”

  1. Matt D. says:

    How was I to know she was with the Russian’s brew? HOT!

    It is interesting to see an iconic corporation like Starbucks stuck between a glock and a hard place. Just for my personal amusement, I wish they would stop a second, put the frothed milk down, and take a stance…pro-guns or no-guns. Then other mega-moguls, like Mickey D’s, would be forced to stand up and declare their stances as well. At least then when I was ordering my non-fat, half soy, shaken, not-stirred double grande crappacino or my quadrouple-stacked, fake beef McCalorie patty, I would know if the dude next to me, who looked a little too angry about how much whipped cream they put on his drink, was packing heat or not. (Deep breath…exhale calmly…)

    You are totally right here though…all of us in the middle probably don’t care if Starbucks picks a side. But if I getted capped while frequenting their faux-groovy establishment…I will totally bitch about them not prohibiting firearms!

  2. AHR says:

    Interesting… the word “compromise” comes to mind. When asking for opinions, I think it’s also good to manage expectations carefully. Sometimes when people share their thoughts and opinions, they then expect the results to lean in their direction.

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Tiny Dancer

Secure your sequins and squeeze into those spandex, ice skating is in season. Through 14 days of Olympic Coverage there’s been naught but a single night where audiences weren’t subjected to ice skating in some form—the Opening Ceremony. Apparently by “coverage” of the Olympic Games, NBC meant a spotlight on skating in all its forms.

Despite a limited love for the sport, admittedly accredited to an inability to see past the pageantry nor distinguish between a salchow and axel jump , through this past weekend I had set a personal record in viewership—that is until Ice Dancing dominated Monday’s lineup and I was finally forced to put the games on ice.

Secure your sequins and squeeze into those spandex, ice skating is in season. Through 14 days of Olympic Coverage there’s been naught but a single night where audiences weren’t subjected to ice skating in some form—the Opening Ceremony. Apparently by “coverage” of the Olympic Games, NBC meant a spotlight on skating in all its forms.

Despite a limited love for the sport, admittedly accredited to an inability to see past the pageantry nor distinguish between a salchow and axel jump , through this past weekend I had set a personal record in viewership—that is until Ice Dancing dominated Monday’s lineup and I was finally forced to put the games on ice. 

My personal preference aside, the chorus of complaints from viewers has continued (and climbed) through the weeks. The USA-plus  plan for coverage, using downtime in skating to show snippets of other events (often on delay from earlier in the day) leaves something to be desired—like seeing other countries compete in any of the events. Those on the West Coast  are riddled with ridiculous three-hour lag times, despite having clocks tuned to the same time-zone as Vancouver and real-time access to results. Ignoring mass-interest in another episode on ice, US versus Canada in hockey, NBC excommunicated the event to cable’s MSNBC, a news network; 8.22 million fans followed (again, a near record in ratings), but we’re left to guess what the game would have drawn if offered en masse on basic cable.

Not long ago much was made of NBC’s creative use of ratings to endorse Leno’s return to the late night lineup, a policy they’re playfully pulling back out of their PR pocket . While its true viewership has vaulted past Turin—my attention isn’t for entertainment, it’s for endurance.

NBC is surviving on the success of America’s record run of medals and increased interest in more extreme events, while falsely assigning credit to their own “premier programming.” If the path to seeing Shaun White grab gold leads through tassels and toe loop jumps, then so be it—but my attention and affinity for the network is on thin ice.

Here’s to uncovering a universally understood maxim heavy hitters, the pleasure of a few work-free days!

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